1. Stepping Forward Again

 9-16-2022

My name is Christian Thompson.

There isn't really an easy way to bring you up to speed to everything that's in my head or in my heart and how it all got there. The best I can do is start where I am, and maybe give you some back-story as we go along.

This is an entrepreneurial journal blog, where I am going to share insights and reflections as I study and go through this journey of pursuing one of many callings in life and my career. I will share lessons I have learned, lessons I haven't yet learned or am in the process of processing, and how to move forward from there.

I don't yet have a way to organize all my thoughts categorically, so I apologize if some things don't make a lot of sense at this point. Put that as first on the list of Lessons not yet learned.

I started this class without a whole lot of conscious preparation. I am working full-time as a graphic designer and product developer for a promo-supplier, C-Slide. My educational journey has been a bit rough. I went to Snow College in 2011 and after 4 years I got my Associates Degree in general education. I still didn't know what to do with my professional life. In 2018 I tried heading back into education and started at BYU Pathways Connect, but shortly after transferring to Southern New Hampshire University to aim for a graphic design degree, things went sideways during the Covid-19 lockdowns. For reasons I still don't really understand, SNHU withdrew my records and unenrolled me from classes, and I had no recourse in trying to find out why or how.

I have been working full-time for several years, and trying to shift gears to get back into school has been difficult for me. I know I did not want to go to college just because it was expected of me, and going just for the sake of a job-qualifying degree seems like little more than economic virtue signaling. There are also a lot of ideological and economic problems with the education system in general that directly conflict with my faith, my beliefs and moral standards that I am not willing to compromise on. 

Another hurdle for getting back into school, and to shift gears in my education and in my career has been the situation of my family. I married McKenzie in 2019 and we now have a beautiful baby boy. She has been in school since 2016, aiming for her Masters in Nursing. I fully support her in achieving this goal, which has required some adjustments and cooperative sacrifices. Combining school and work with the chaos of raising our son, there was no way we could both be in school at the same time and provide for ourselves financially, so we agreed that I would work full time while she completes her education, and when our schedule would allow it, I would go back to school. And here I am, though I still have doubts about the schedule. Nothing ever calms down.

This first week has led me to reflect on why I want to be an entrepreneur, and what I really want to contribute to my family, my community and the world. I've pondered this question periodically throughout my life, but this time it's particularly at the forefront of my mind. Right now, there are several motivating factors. As a graphic designer, I help other businesses market themselves better. Several of these businesses are family-owned. My father is starting up a clinic, and I want to support that with my skills and talents. My older brother has several business ventures and I want to help him. My younger brother has a business that I want to be a part of. I also want to market myself independently and build up my own little empire. I want to create things. I want to create things of value. I want to create things of spiritual, cultural, artistic and monetary value. I feel the need to create things that contribute to virtue in society, that add beauty, that are wholesomely entertaining and exciting. I want to build faith in the things I build. I want to create goodness in the things I create. There are lots of people doing this already, I know. But I want to be able to reach those who aren't currently being reached. How? That's why I am here. 

Before I started this class, my head wasn't fully in the space of being engaged in school. But as I read the talks and watched the videos from this first week, and as I pondered it, two distinct ideas came to mind. First, is that I'm terrified of this, and feeling overwhelmed by the task of juggling my responsibilities as a husband and father at home with my work and education, now combined with the prospect of delving into a difficult and frequently uncertain career path. Second, is that this is the opportunity to grow into what I have wanted to grow into, to climb up to that spot where I can do what matters most to me, that which I have a passion for. Not only is this my opportunity, it is my responsibility, and I might as well get over my qualms and hesitancy and just do it.

There are a lot of insecurities and fears to overcome, a lot of hurdles to clear, a lot of cliffs to climb and dragons to fight. I hope I am up for the task. I think I am. At the onset, there is certainly is more unknown than known to me, both of the magnitude of the task and of my capacity. Acknowledging that doesn't mean that I can't know and can't grow. There's a difference between the deflated "I don't know" and the hopeful "yet."

Until next time,

Christian